Sometimes I really feel God reaching through me when I write. Sometimes the Holy Spirit directs my fingers on the keyboard or pops a phrase into my head. Sometimes it feels as if it's coming from outside me, like God is directing me as if I were onstage.
I haven't really thought about that much. I just take for granted that's what happens. Maybe I need to think about it more.
Where does my writing come from?
Me, in anger? Righteous anger, or belittled anger? Envious and greedy, or loving and caring?
I think I need to think more carefully about why I write, and what I write.
When I was younger and the Internet was new and fresh, I found I could spew all sorts of nonsense out there. There are no filters in emails or posts or chat groups. And, before the Internet I could write letters, because that's even more detached. It was just my keyboard and me, and I could say whatever I wanted based on my feelings and emotion at the time.
Sometimes the angry feelings would fade and I would be left with my barbed words on a page, in a document on my computer, or forever out there.
Sometimes the lovely feelings would come, and my heart would nearly burst with joy, and my words couldn't come out quickly enough to fill the pages that needed filling. And I would search and search for perfect words, often finding them or a good substitute. Then, more than a few times, I would be frustrated by lack of stating my emotion perfectly.
My thought now is that I really need to pray before I write. To ask for guidance from God. To ask for the Holy Spirit to move me in a way that is pleasing and doing His will.
That doesn't mean that my writing will mamby pamby. Jesus showed us how to behave, and despite the stereotype he was no wimp. He was strong and righteous and didn't back down. People misuse "turn the other cheek" as it didn't mean what we think it means (I'll discuss that another time, and I probably already have earlier in this blog). Jesus was powerful.
I will pray that God leads my written words, as well as my spoken words and actions.