I was at the gym today and things started to get clear about 20 minutes into my cardio. I realized that despite the upheaval, I feel at peace right now. It's not an easy time, but I'm very peaceful about what needs to be done, and that God and I can do it together.
I was thinking back to the last time God spoke to me. He gave me words to nudge me in a specific direction. That moment was a tipping point in my life, and everything since has hinged on that one moment in time. (Read Malcom Gladwell's book, "Tipping Point," for further info.)
It was about 3 years ago. I was standing at my kitchen sink washing the dirty dishes that failed to stuff into an overflowing dishwasher. My house was a wreck, with sticky spots and dust on every surface. The floor was littered with little pieces of dried food threatening to impale the sole of an inattentive foot. It was a disaster...much more than usual.
I was exhausted. Hubby had been working stiff 12-14 hour days and even Saturdays, and I was the solitary caregiver to two kids still in diapers (they were both late trainers, or maybe I was the late trainee, who knows?). This was not a good day.
So naturally, I was crying. No, not really crying, I was sobbing. Dramatically, I'm sure. No one in the history of the world is as doomed as I am when feeling depressed. Woe is ME! (Back of hand on forehead, of course.)
I kept thinking, is this it? Is this my life? Dishes will pile up yet again. Diapers will endlessly need changing. The vacuum cleaner will continue to mock me. I felt as if I were living the song, "Is That All There Is?" (first recorded by Peggy Lee, and later Bette Midler, Sandra Bernhardt and others). Is that all there is to life, I asked myself? Dishes, diapers and dirt?
Then a voice, a deep baritone, clear as a bell said, "This is not your purpose."
And calm washed over me. Or, maybe shock. I knew no one else was in the house. I knew I was quite alone with my kids. I knew without thinking about it that it was the voice of God.
He's spoken to me a few times, but this was the clearest and most direct.
Because He gave me those words, and saved me from wallowing in my own self pity, I have been very purposeful in my actions. I believe, as things are unfolding in the next few years, God's purpose for my life will continue to emerge and my efforts blessed as pleases Him.
I think back often to that moment in time, a tipping point in my life and purpose, to be sure.
Have you had a tipping point?