Wednesday, February 9, 2011

In God's Hands

This has been the week of putting it into God's hands.

I have been needing to do this.  So of course I haven't, not until I'm forced to do it. 

Sunday, my dad was rushed to the hospital with lung and heart problems.  He's wavering there now.  Not getting better, but not getting worse.  It's difficult to not be there.  But, it's harder to go.

I have been yelling at my kids for two days now.  Not all the time, but enough that I just have to stop.  They are kids, they'll act like kids and I can't expect them to act like robots.  I have very rambuctious kids.  Which is weird because Hubby and I aren't like that.  We're much more mellow and like to hang.  Our kids like to hang, too...while they're swinging from the chandelier.

I am also sick as a dog.  Sore throat and stuffy and not feeling well.  Luckily I've gotten a ton of sleep.  And, I often wonder when I get sick like this--which is rare--that maybe my body gives up and wants sleep and the only way I'll rest is to become ill.  I am a "doer" and like to do things, accomplish things, cross stuff off my "to do" list.  I'm not a good sit around and sleep and watch inane tv person, which is all I can do when I'm this sick.

I want to go to FL to see my dad, but I can't because I'm sick.  I can't risk getting him sick, it might quite literally kill him.  I want to stop yelling at my children and have homeschool be more fun for us all.  I want to live a godly life and enrich everything I touch.  I want to leave the world a better place because I was in it.

I have to give it to God.  I have to let His hands guide my day, guide my life, guide my actions, words and thoughts.  I have to stop trying to control the universe and let the God who does control the universe do His job.  I have to stop being my own stumbling block. 

I put my life into God's hands.

1 comment:

SM said...

So sorry about your Dad, and your illness, and for the chandelier you'll soon be replacing, (THAT ONE, I can relate to). I'll pray for your strength during this difficult time.