Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Donner und blitz

God can speak in the soft petals of an April flower, in the quiet rain on a Fall afternoon, or in the sweet smile of a sleepy child. He can also crash down on you with a sonic boom.

Today, I got the boom.

Rewind two weeks to a job posting in our church bulletin/program (one term is politically incorrect and I still don't know which one it is!). Hubby and I have been talking about the job, we've been praying about it, and despite the fact I really want to apply for the position because the job description seems written for me, I don't. I keep revisiting the fact that if I apply and get the job it will mess up our plans for this crucial year when my youngest starts Kindergarten.

It's been an on-again/off-again process of whether to submit my application. I've had the dang thing filled out in excruciating detail and sitting on my 'puter desktop ready to go since I first heard about the opportunity. I even secured my references and polished my resume. But, Hubby and I have planned out this year, and a part-time job for me is not in the mix.

However, God has other notions.

I've ignored my own pangs of wanting it, brushed off emails from people thinking it would suit me, and fervently downplayed well-meaning phone messages about it. I'm pretty good at ignorning God when I think I know better. I don't. He does. I should've given in weeks ago.

Hubby and I were talking about it for the final time. The deadline was here. It was now or never. We'd made the decision when flashes of lightning illuminated the room like a bad disco strobe, and then a thunderous boom rattled the windows...and my bones.

"Okay, okay, God, I get it! I'll do it."

So, I sent in my application, trusting that God will figure out this year for us. Whether or not I get the job, I've proven that I can trust Him to run my life. He's so much better at it anyway.

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